बेरा, बिबट्या आणि मी

गेली अडीच वर्षं ऐकतेय मी, 'बिबट्या नाही बघितला, बिबट्या नाही बघितला', काही विचारू नका! शेवटी असंच एक दिवस बाबा ऑफिसातून आला आणि मला ऊचलून नाचत नाचत म्हणाला "बिबट्या बघायला आपण 'राजसथान' (का असंच कुठेतरी) जायचंय!!" मला फिरायला खूप आवडंत. आईपण जरा जास्तच खूष वाटत होती. गुरुवारी सकाळी आम्ही पुण्याहून पार्ल्याला शुभाआजीकडे आणि मग तिथून 'बेरा' ला जाणार होतो. त्यामुळे बुधवारी आई आणि बाबा ब्यागा (बॅगा) भरत होते. तिकडे खूप थंडी असेल म्हणून एक घट्ट पिंक-गुलाबी जॅकेट आईने ब्यागेत कोंबले.

मी आणि पिंक-गुलाबी जॅकेट 

ब्याग भरायला मी आईला मदत करत होते. मला गाड्या खूप खूप आवडतात, त्यामुळे मी माझ्या सगळ्या गाड्या आईच्या ब्यागेत ठेवल्या. सगळ्या गाड्या ठेवायला हव्यात म्हणून ब्यागेतले थोडे सामान बाहेर काढले. यावरून आई मला का ओरडली ते कळलंच नाही. मग मी रडायला लागले. रडले नाही तरंच शुभा आजीकडे जायला मिळेल असे बाबा म्हणाला, म्हणून मी रडायचे थांबले. त्यानंतर मला बोर्न्विटाची भूक लागली आणि परत रडायला लागले. मग बोर्न्विटा पिऊन मी मिनिअनची गोष्ट ऐकू लागले.
सुर्यबाप्पा आल्यावर मी ऊठले. आम्हाला न्यायला 'आमून गाडी' (मारुती स्विफ्ट डिझायर) येणार होती. मला दात घासायला अजिबात आवडत नाही आणि आई बाबा माझे काही ऐकत नाहीत. दात घासून आमून गाडीमध्ये बसून आम्ही निघालो. त्या गाडीत मागे छोटा टिव्हि होता. त्यात मी गाणी बघितली. आमच्या बरोबर 'मोनुकाका' पण येणार होता. मोनुकाकाने मला डंपर, क्रेन आणि पोलो जिटी दिली आणि तो माझ्याशी गप्पा मारतो म्हणून मला तो आवडतो. मोनुकाका माझ्या बाबापेक्षाही 'मोठ्ठा' आहे. मोनूकाका पण माझ्या सारखाच पहिल्यांदा जंगलात जाणार होता. मोनुकाका गाडीत बसल्यावर मी त्याच्याशी काही बोलले नाही. तसं आई, बाबा, दोन्ही आजी आजोबा सोडून समोर कोणीही आलं तर मी दहा मिनिटं बोलत नाही. आमून गाडी जोरात चालली होती. मग गाडी गोल गोल वेड्या वाकड्या घसरगुंडीवरून खाली आल्यावर बाबा "दत्तला थांबवा" असं काहितरी ड्रायवर काकाना म्हणाला. तिथे एक कणसाची बसही (शिवनेरी व्होल्वो) होती. मी पण खूप कणिसं खाल्ली. मग मी बाबाला 'सोनेरी बेबीचे' गाणे लावायला सांगितलं "हे कुठलं गाणं?" बाबा म्हणाला. मग मी आईला सांगितलं "ते सोनेरी बेबीचं गाणं लाव ना". आईलाही कळेना. "अगं ते बाबा नेहमी पोलो जिटी मधे लावतो ते" मी आईला रागावले. आई एकदम जोर जोरात हसत बाबाला म्हणाली "'बेबी डॉल मै सोनेदी' गाणं ऐकायचं आहे हीला." मग आई, बाबा, मोनूकाका आणि ड्रायव्हरकाका जोरा जोरात हसायला लागले. मला कधीकधी कळंत नाही ही मोठी माणसं ऊगाच का हसत असतात ते.
पुढे डोळे उघडले तेव्हा मी शुभाआजीच्या घरी होते. मी तिच्याबरोबर खूप खेळले.
रात्र झाली आणि आम्ही पुन्हा एकदा आमून गाडीत बसून रेलवे स्टेशनला पोहोचलो. शुभा आजी आमच्याबरोबर आली नाही म्हणून मी थोडी रडले, पण आईने मला ट्रेन दाखवल्यावर मी रडायचं  विसरले. आमच्याबरोबर पराग काका पण होता. तो मोनूकाकापेक्षाही 'मोठ्ठा' आहे. तिथे पोहोचल्यावर अजुन एक काका भेटणार होता. बाबा, सारखा "त्याला 'सहस्र्बुध्धे काका' म्हणायचं हं" (सहस्त्रबुद्धे काका) असं सांगत होता. त्यानंतर अजुन एक काका आला. त्याचं नाव विराज काका. असे सगळे मिळून आम्ही, अम्म्म्म एक, दोन, तीन, चार, सहा, आठ, सात, दहा (खरे सात) जण होतो. मला दहा आकडे येतात. त्यानंतर रेल्वेच्या रुळापर्यंत जाताना फक्त 'सहस्रबुध्धे काका' एकटाच बोलत होता. बाकी सगळे नुसते फिदी फिदी हसत होते. का हसत होते काय माहीत? मी मात्र झुकझुक गाड्या बघत होते. मला झोपायची ट्रेन कशी असते ते बघायचं होतं. कूssssss झुक, झुक करत आमची टी-फॉर-ट्रेन आली. सगळे काका नवीन असल्याने मी अजुनही कोणाशी बोलले नव्हते. झोपायची ट्रेन मस्तच होती. बाहेर चांदोबा छान हसत होता. विराज काकाने गाजराचा हलवा आणला होता. त्यातले काजू आणि बेदाणे मीच खाऊन टाकले. सगळ्या काकांनी खूप खूप खाऊ आणला होता. मी सगळा फस्त केला आणि मग झोपाळ्यासारख्या झुलणार्‍या त्या गाडीत मी शहाण्या मुलीसारखी झोपले.

सकाळी मी उठले तेव्हा झुक झुक गाडी जोरात पळतच होती. बाहेर लांब छोटे छोटे झाडं नसलेले दगडांचे डोंगर दिसू लागले. मोठी झाडं गायब झाली आणि माती वेगळी दिसू लागली.

सपाट 

नंतर ती एके ठिकाणी थांबली. "अबूची रबडी (आबू रोड स्टेशन वरची रबडी) सॉलिड असते." असं म्हणत सहस्र्बुध्धे काका आणि पराग काका खाली ऊतरले आणि लगेचच खूप छान बासुंदी घेऊन आले. गाडी कूssssss करून परत सुरू झाली, सहस्र्बुध्धे काका पुन्हा बोलू लागला आणि बाकी सगळे फिदी फिदी हसायला लागले.

 

 अबूची रबडी

मी पुन्हा झोपून ऊठले तेव्हा आमची ट्रेन थांबली. बाबा मला घेऊन खाली चकचकीत रूळांवर उतरला. 'मोरी बेरा' नावाच्या स्टेशनवर आम्ही उतरलो.

सहस्र्बुध्धेकाका, परागकाका, विराजकाका, मोनूकाका, आई, मी आणि बाबा

बाहेर आल्यावर आम्हाला न्यायला आलेल्या दोन दोन जिप्सी दिसल्या. मला त्या जिप्सीमधे कधीपासून बसायचे होते. माझ्याकडे छोटी जिप्सी आहे. पण त्यात बसता येत नाही. जिप्सिला छत नव्हते आणि समोर काचही नव्हती. दुपारच्या उन्हात मस्त मस्त वारा होता. आईने मला गॉगलपण दिला घालायला. तिथे आमच्या घराजवळ जशी मोठी मोठी झाडं आहेत तशी दिसत नव्हती. मग मी गाणं म्हणू लागले "जीपची चाकं फिरतात गोल गोल गोल.." तिथला रस्तापण मजेशीर होता. "पिपल ऑन द जीप गो अप एन डाऊन" व्हायला लागलं. थोड्या वेळाने आम्ही एका मोठ्ठ्या महालासमोर पोहोचलो. तिथे छान झाडं होती, झाडावर खूप पोपट आणि खारुताई होत्या.

पांढर्‍या शुभ्र "बेरा कॅसल"मध्ये आत शिरताना साडी नेसलेल्या दोन तीन तायांनी मला कुंकू लावले, ओवाळले आणि नंतर आई, बाबा आणि सगळ्या काकांना कुंकू लावले. याआधिही मी हॉटेल रूम मध्ये राहिले आहे. पण हा तर किल्लाच होता. प्रत्येक रूम म्हणजे महाल होता. इथे सगळंच मोठ्ठ होतं. बाबाचे डोळे फक्त बाहेर पडायचे बाकी होते. वेड्यासारखा इकडून तिकडे फिरत होता. या महालात जिकडे तिकडे छान छान चित्रे भिंतीवर टांगलेली होती. काही तिथल्या राण्यांची, बाकी प्राण्यांची. बिबट्यांची चित्रे तर मला खुपंच आवडली.

बेरा महाल

"मै दोन दिन का ठाकूर आहे" असं काहीतरी म्हणत बाबा आमच्या त्या पॉश घरात शिरला आणि सोफ्यावर पसरला. सगळी आवरा आवरी झाल्यावर आम्ही जेवायला गेलो. जेवायची रूम तर इतकी सॉलिड होती की काही विचारू नका. जेवण एकदम मस्त होते. मी फक्त ज्युस, पापड आणि गुलाबजाम खाल्ले. आईने मला भात खायला लावला. सहस्र्बुध्धे काकाची बडबड आणि बाकिच्यांचे फिदी-फिदी चालुंच होतं.

 

 

मै दोन दिन का ठाकूर आहे

मोठ्ठा मोनूकाका

त्याहून मोठ्ठा परागकाका

"चला आता पहिली सफारी!" बाबा भलताच खूष वाटत होता. दुपार होती, ऊन्हही पडले होते. पण हवा गार गार होती. आमच्या जिप्स्या समोरच उभ्या होत्या. जिप्सीतून फिरायंच, व्वा मला तर खुपच मज्जा वाटत होती.

 

जिप्सी आणि मी

 

बाबा भलताच खूष वाटत होता

बाबा आणि पराग काकाकडे मोठ्ठे कॅमेरे होते. आणि जिप्सी मध्ये दुर्बिणी होत्या. हा काय प्रकार असतो ते मला माहीत नव्हते पण सगळेजण डोळ्याला लावून बघत होते. आम्ही सगळे एका जिप्सीत बसून निघालो. ड्रायव्हरकाका एकदम जोरात गाडी चालवत होता. मला भरपूर वारा लागत होता. आमची जिप्सी एका मातीच्या रस्त्यावर वळली.

त्या मातीचा थोड्यावेळाने डोंगर झाला. डोंगरावर झाडं फार नव्हती पण दगड खूप होते. रस्ता तर दिसतच नव्हता. खूप मोठ्ठा चढ होता. "हा खरा फोर बाय फोर चा फायदा" असं काहीतरी बाबा म्हणाला. जिप्सी खूपच अप अॅन्ड डाऊन होत होती. मला खूप मज्जा येत होती. थोड्या वेळात आम्ही डोंगराच्या डोक्यावर चढलो आणि समोर बघतो ते काय खूप मोठ्ठा समुद्र (मोठा तलाव). समुद्राचे पाणी एकदम ब्लु ब्लु. मागे मोठे मोठे डोंगर. डोंगरांवर नुसते दगड. आमच्या माखजनच्या डोंगरांवर खूप झाडं आहेत पण हे डोंगर शेजारच्या आजोबांच्या डोक्यासारखे होते. व्वा, अशी जागा मी कधीच बघितली नव्हती.

"अरे ती बघ तिकडे. लेकच्या टोकाला." मोनूकाका डोळ्याला दुर्बिण लावून वेड्यासारखे हात हलवत ओरडला. मला तर काहीच दिसत नव्हते. तेव्हढ्यात मी एकदम ओरडलेच. काही कळेच ना. अचानक सगळं एकदम जवळ जवळ आलं. मी पाण्यात ऊभी होते आणि समोर एक मगर "आ" करून लोळत पडली होती. मगाशी खूप लांब असलेले पांढरे शुभ्र बगळे बाजुला उभे होते. मला थोडी भीतीपण वाटली. आणि मी पाण्यात आहे तर आई कुठे आहे? मी रडायला लागणार एव्हढ्यात सगळं होतं तसं झालं. "दिसली का मगर दुर्बिणीतून?" बाबाने डोळे मोठे मोठे करत हसत विचारले. तेव्हा मला कळले ती दुर्बिण हा काय प्रकार आहे तो. आणि माझ्याकडे बघून आई, बाबा आणि सगळे काका खूप हसायला लागले. ही मोठी माणसं म्हणजे...
"अरे बोक्यांनो डावीकडे बघा. दोन मगरी पसरल्यात" सहस्र्बुध्धे काका किंचाळला. मग परत दुर्बिणीने मी जाड्या जाड्या खडबडीत मगरीला हात लाऊन आले. त्यांना भरपूर चकचकीत दात होते. आणि आई म्हणाली की त्या रोज चार वेळा दात घासतात. त्या खूप मासे खातात पण आजुबाजूच्या बगळ्यांना खात नाहीत.

मगरी

मगरी बघून आम्ही परत जिप्सीतून निघालो. मगरीच्या पाठीसारख्या खडबडीत रस्त्यावरून आम्ही पुढे जात होतो. आजुबाजूला छोटी छोटी काट्यांची झाडं होती. त्यातून वाट काढत आम्ही पुढे जात होतो. तेव्हढ्यात समोर खूप म्हशी आल्या. त्यांची छोटी पिल्लंपण (रेडकं) होती. मला म्हशी आवडतात पण त्यांच्या पाठीवर बसायला मला आवडत नाही. थोड्या वेळानं आम्ही एका सरळ रस्यावर आलो. त्यावर खूप माती होती पण ड्रायव्हरकाका गाडी जोर जोरात पळवत होते.

"अरे तो बघ, तो बघ वरती" परागकाका ओरडला तेव्हा मला जाग आली. आमची जिप्सी एका छोट्या डोंगराच्या खाली उभी होती. "अरे तो बघा उजवीकडे वरती, टोकावर". परागकाका परत ओरडला. मला तर काहीच दिसत नव्हतं. एव्हाना थोडा काळोखही झाला होता. "ती बाई काय वेडी आहे का? वरती बिबट्या बसलाय आणि थोडं खाली ऊतारावर ही बकर्‍यांना घेऊन ऊभी आहे. आज काहीतरी बघायला मिळणार वाटतं. ती नाहीतर तिच्या बकर्‍या" बावळटासारखं हसत बाबा म्हणाला!
मला ना बिबट्या दिसत होता, ना ती बाई दिसत होती, ना तिच्या बेंss (बकर्‍या) दिसत होत्या. पण थोड्या वेळाने शेवटी मला बिबट्या दिसलाच. तो एका खूप मोठ्या दगडावर उड्या मारत होता. तेव्हढ्यात आईने दोन्ही हातात माझे डोके पकडून हळूच ऊजवीकडे फिरवले आणि वरती बोट दाखवत म्हणाली "अगं बाई, बिबट्या तिकडे आहे! तु बघतेयंस ते माकड आहे!"

मला दिसलेला बिबट्या (माकड)

एव्हढं करूनही "तो" काही मला दिसला नाही. बाबाने दुर्बिण लावली तरिही मला तो दिसला नाही. थोड्या वेळाने एक बाई आणि तिच्या खूप बेंss समोर आल्या. त्यांची छोटी छोटी पिल्लं इतकी गोड होती की काही विचारू नका. आणि बिबट्याने एकालाही खाल्लं नाही. "अरे वरती एक नाही दोन बिबळे आहेत" विराज काका म्हणाला. सगळे काका बिबट्याला बिबळ्या म्हणत होते म्हणून मी खूप हसले. "दोन नाही तीन आहेत" बाबा एकदम जोशात म्हणाला. "झाडी मध्ये चौथापण आहे." कोणतातरी काका म्हणाला. मिनिटाला एक अशा प्रमाणात बिबटे वाढत होते. मी पुन्हा एकदा तिकडे बघितले पण मला एकही दिसत नव्हता. मला बिबट्यापेक्षा बकर्‍या जास्त आवडतात. त्या बेंss बेंss करतात. "होय रे, चौथा पण दिसतोय. तिकडे ऊजव्या बाजुच्या झुडुपात." पराग काका फारच खूश वाटत होता.

बाकीच्यांना दिसलेले बिबटे

आता मात्र खुपच काळोख झाला होता. "बिबटे खाली उतरतायत" बाबा ओरडला. थोड्याच वेळात "समोरच्या झाडीत आहेत" असं आई एकदम हळू हळू आवाजात म्हणाली. मला खूप भुक लागली होती. त्यामुळे मी रडायला सुरुवात केली. पण सगळे काका, बाबा आणि आई मला एकदम "शूsss" असं म्हणाले त्यामुळे मी थांबले. "अजिबात आवाज करू नकोस नाहीतर बिबट्या तुला घेऊन जाईल" असं एकदम रात्री बोलतात तशा आवाजात आई म्हणाली आणि हातात बिस्किट दिलं. मग बाकी सगळे बिबट्या बघत होते आणि मी मस्त चॉकलेटचे बिस्किट खात होते. तिथे एकूण तीनच बिबटे होते, चौथा बिबट्या फक्त पराग काकाला दिसला म्हणून सगळे त्याला चिडवत होते आणि हसत होते.

मला पुन्हा (न) दिसलेला बिबट्या

"सायटिंग चांगले झाले पण पोट नाही भरले" असं काहीतरी बाबा पुटपुटला. परत हॉटेलवर जाताना आईला वटका-घूळ (वटवाघूळ) दिसले. "मला नाही दिसत आहे वटकाघूळ" असं म्हटल्यावर सगळे हसायला लागले. आणि ही मोठी माणसं मला सांगतात "ऊगाच हसणार्‍यांना वेडं म्हणतात"!! आता वटकाघूळाला वटकाघूळच म्हण्णार ना?

जाताना मला खूप थंडी वाजली. त्यामुळे आईने मला पुर्ण गुंडाळून ठेवले. जाता जाता आमच्या समोरून एक लांबच लांब पायांचा ऊंट जोरात धावत गेला. आणि त्या ऊंटाचे, टोपी घातलेले आजोबाही आम्हाला दिसले.

वाटेत मस्त गरम गरम 'मटका चहा' आणि बिस्किटं खाऊन आम्ही परत त्या महालात पोहोचलो.

थंडी, न दिसलेला बिबट्या आणि गुंडाळलेली मी :(

रात्री मस्त जेवणानंतर मी आणि आई रूमवर गेलो. मी लस्कुमणासारखी (लक्ष्मणासारखी) बेशुद्ध पडले. मग बाबाला मी द्रोणागिरी पर्वतावरून संजिवनी बुटी आणायला सांगितली, तर त्याने मारुतीसारखा अख्खा पर्वत आणला आणि मला औषध देऊन जिवंत केले. आईने मला खूप गोष्टी सांगितल्या, नंतर बाबाने 'मिनि' नावाच्या मिनिअनची गोष्ट सांगितली आणि घोरायला लागला.

बेरा महाल

आई बाबांनी मला उठवले तेव्हा रात्रच होती. सुर्य अजुन आला नव्हता. थोड्याच वेळात आम्ही पुन्हा जिप्सी मध्ये होतो. "आज हायना बघायला जाऊ." परागकाका म्हणाला. थंडी खूप होती त्यामुळे आम्ही सगळे गुंडाळलेले होतो. जिप्सीचे ड्रायव्हरकाका नेहमीसारखे गाडी जोरात चालवत होते. वाटेत रस्त्यावर आम्हाला काही मोठे मोठे पंखे दिसले. "ही ओवनचक्की" (पवनचक्की) असं काहीतरी आई म्हणाली. जाता जाता ड्रायव्हरनकाकांनी गाडी एकदम थांबवली. एक हरीण जोरात उड्या मारत आमच्या समोरून निघून गेले. सुंदर होते ते. मला खूप आवडले. थोडं पुढे गेल्यावर आम्हाला कोल्हाही दिसला. पण कोल्हा खूप लबाड असतो त्यामुळे मला तो आवडत नाही. कोल्ह्याला बघितल्यामुळे मी आईकडे द्राक्ष मागितली पण आईकडे ती नव्हती.

लबाड कोल्हा

पुढे पुन्हा आम्ही जिप्सितून मोठा डोंगर चढलो आणि मग ऊतरलो. माझ्यासारख्या बाबा आणि मोनूकाकाला गाड्या खूप आठवतात. जिप्सीतून डोंगरावरून जाताना ते दोघे हातात गुलाबजाम मिळाल्यासारखे खूष होते.

खरा फोर बाय फोर

थोड्यावेळाने सूर्य आला. सगळीकडे ऑरेंज ऑरेंज झाले. मला जरा बरे वाटले. आजुबाजुला काट्यांचीच झाडं होती. थोडेफार डोंगर होते. पण बाकी सगळीकडे फक्त थंडी दिसत होती. मग डाव्या बाजूने एक "निळी गाय" (नीलगाय) आली. ती गाईसारखी दिसत नव्हती पण आकाराने तेव्हढीच होती. आम्हाला बघून ती पळून गेली.

"अरे मागे बघा, तिकडे हायना आहे." परागकाका एकटाच आमच्या मागे ऊभा होता. आम्ही तिकडे बघायच्या आत ते तरस गायब झाले. "रेकॉर्ड शॉट मिळाला" असं काहितरी तो म्हणाला. पुन्हा ते तरस काही दिसले नाही.

तरस, परागकाकाचा रेकॉर्ड शॉट

ड्रायव्हरकाका फोनवर काहीतरी हिंदीत बोलत होते. मला पण हिंदी येते "आपका नाम काय आहे?" असे. त्या काकांनी जिप्सी परत चालू केली. "काल दिसलेले तीन बिबटे परत त्याच डोंगरावर दिसत आहेत" बाबा म्हणाला. डोळे उघडले तेव्हा मला खूप तहान लागली होती. सगळी मोठी मंडळी त्याच डोंगरावर बिबट्या शोधत होती. मग मी ठेपले खाल्ले, पाणी प्यायले आणि बिबट्या शोधू लागले. "तो बघ तो बघ वरती. दगडावर बसलाय. दुर्बिण डोळ्याला लावून मोनूकाका म्हणाला." मोनूकाका सोडून बराचवेळ तो कोणालाही दिसत नव्हता. "अरे दगडा.. त्या दगडाच्या पुढे एक झुडुप आहे तिथे आहे" मोनूकाका बाबाला रागावला. मग हळू हळू सगळ्यांना तो दिसला. बाबा आणि मला काही केल्या दिसेना. "अरे घोड्या.. लांब आहे पण समोरच आहे, दिसत कसा नाही?" आई बाबाला रागावली. मी हसायला लागले. मग बाबाने पुन्हा एकदा बघितले आणि लगेच त्याला बिबट्या दिसला. मला मात्र अजुनही तो दिसला नव्हता. एव्हढ्यात जिप्सीच्या बाजुलाच एक पोपट येऊन बसला. छान छान हिरवा ग्रीन होता. तो एका जागेवरून उडायचा आणि फेरी मारून परत तिथेच येऊन बसायचा. "अगं तो पोपट नाहिये, त्याला 'वेडा राघू' म्हणतात" बाबाला बिबट्या खरंच दिसला होता की नाही माहित नाही पण तो वेडा पोपट नक्कीच दिसला होता.

वेडा राघू

तेव्हढ्यात तो बिबट्या जागेवरून ऊठला आणि जरा दिसेल अशा ठिकाणी येऊन बसला. बाबाने पटकन व्हिडिओ काढून घेतला.

दिसला एकदाचा

हॉटेलवर परत येताना बाबाने एका घारीचा फोटो काढला. "याला 'शिक्रा' म्हणतात." परागकाका म्हणाला. थंडी जरा कमी झाली होती. हॉटेलात परत आलो तेव्हा खायला भरपूर खाऊ तयार होता. मी सगळ्यावर ताव मारला आणि पुयनं (पुर्ण) खाऊ संपवला. मग थोड्या वेळाने रूमवर जाऊन आईच्या कुशीत झोपले.

शिक्रा

दुसर्‍या दिवशी सकाळी पुन्हा एकदा आम्ही जिप्सीत बसलो होतो. "आपल्याला लांब जायचंय हं, तिकडे अजून बिबटे आहेत." बाबा म्हणाला. मला खूप खूप थंडी वाजत होती. मी जिप्सीत कधी झोपले ते कळलंच नाही. आईनं हळूच हाक मारून मला ऊठवलं तेव्हा बाकी सगळे दुर्बिण नाहीतर कॅमेरात डोके घालून बिबट्या शोधत होते. तेव्हढ्यात लांबवर काहीतरी हलताना दिसायला लागलं. आई, बाबा आणि सगळ्या काकांचे चेहरे एकदम बदलले.
बिबट्याची तीन छोटी छोटी पिल्ल जोरात नाचायला लागली. त्यांच्या आईच्या अंगावरून इकडे तिकडे उड्या मारू लागली, आईची शेपटी ओढू लागली. त्यांची आई जराशी चिडलेली होती. दुर्बिण डोळ्याला लावल्यावर मीही त्यांच्याबरोबर पकडापकडी खेळू लागले, लपाछपी खेळू लागले. ती झाडावर चढत होती, खाली पडत होती आणि एकमेकाशी भांडतही होती. छोटेसे हिरवे डोळे, जाडे पाय, काळ्या कानांवर पांढरे ठिपके असलेली ती पिवळी येल्लो पिल्लं मला घरी न्यायची होती. बिबट्याची पिल्लं बघून सगळे खूष होते. हॉटेलवर परत जाताना सगळे प्रचंड बडबड करत होते. कोणीच यापुर्वी बिबट्याची पिल्लं बघितली नव्हती.

 या पिल्लांबरोबर दुर्बिणीतून मीही खेळले

"चला ही चौथी आणि शेवटची सफारी" बाबा म्हणाला. पुन्हा एकदा आम्ही जिप्सीमधे बसलो. दुपारची वेळ होती. थंडी फार नव्हती. जिप्सी सुरू झाली आणि आम्ही परत मातीच्या रस्त्यांवर फिरू लागलो. एका मोठ्या दगडावर बसून बिबट्यांची वाट बघू लागलो. बराच वेळ थांबल्यामुळे मला भूक लागली पण बिबट्या काही आला नाही. मी रडायला लागणार एव्हढ्यात ड्रायव्हर काका खाली उतरला. त्या काटेरी झाडांजवळ गेला आणि त्यावरची ४-५ छोटी लाल बोरं माझ्या हातात ठेवली. आईने आतली बी काढून मला खायला दिली. बोरं मस्त आंबट गोड होती. आजूबाजुला फक्त बोरांचीच झाडं होती. मग काय, बाबा आणि सगळे काका उतरले आणि झाडावरची बोरं चरु लागले. बिबट्याचा काही पत्ता नव्हता. सुर्य त्याच्या घरी जाऊ लागला आणि जाता जाता बाबाला एक मस्त फोटो देऊन गेला. सुर्यबाप्पा गेल्यावर चांदोबा एकदम छान दिसायला लागला. चांदोबा हा माझा सगळ्यात आवडता मित्र आहे. त्याला बघितलं की मी रडायची थांबते. भिंतीवरचा पंखा हा माझा सगळ्यात पहिला मित्र. त्यानंतर कॅलेंडर आणि नंतर चांदोबा. बाबा मला चांदोबाच्या बागेतला ससा आणून देणारे माहितेय का?

माझे जुने मित्र

हळूहळू अंधार वाढत होता. तेव्हढ्यात ड्रायव्हर काकांचा फोन वाजला. "पहिल्या सफारीत दिसलेले बिबटे पुन्हा त्याच डोंगरावर दिसत आहे" बाबा म्हणाला. मग पुन्हा आम्ही 'त्या' डोंगराखाली गेलो. रात्र झाली होती. काहीही दिसत नव्हते म्हणून ड्रायव्हर काकांनी खूप मोठी बॅटरी लावली. बॅटरीच्या लाईटमध्ये सगळे दिसत होते पण बिबट्या काही दिसत नव्हता. आम्ही परत हॉटेलवर जायला निघालो. सहस्र्बुध्धे काका ती मोठी बॅटरी पकडून बिबट्या शोधत होता. "एकंदरी ट्रीप मस्त झाली" बाबा म्हणत एक होता पण चेहरा दुसरं सांगत होता. बिबटे सगळ्यांना दिसले होते, पण ते खूप लांबून. "बघायला मिळाले ना, अजून काय पाहिजे?" आई म्हणाली. बाबा नुसतं "हं" म्हणाला आणि गप्प झाला. "रुको रुको" सहस्र्बुध्धे काका अचानक ओरडला. "डाव्या बाजूला बिबट्या आहे". डोंगरावरचा बिबट्या खाली ऊतरला होता. ड्रायव्हरकाकाने जिप्सी मागे घेतली. आई, बाबा आणि सगळे काका डोळे मोठे मोठे करून लाईटच्या दिशेने बघू लागले. लगेचच आम्हाला तो बिबट्या दिसला. पुन्हा एकदा तो लांबच होता पण डोंगराखालच्या शेतात होता.
दोनच मिनिटांत आमची जिप्सी शेतातून जाऊ लागली. मिट्ट काळोख होता. फक्त त्या बॅटरीचाच दिवा होता. हळूहळू आम्ही बिबट्या जवळ जाऊ लागलो. तेव्हढ्यात बाबाला अजून एक बिबट्या दिसला. त्यानंतर मोनूकाकाला तिसरा बिबट्याही दिसला. त्या मिट्ट काळोखात ते तीन बिबटे जिप्सीच्या तीन बाजूंना होते. आम्ही समोर असलेल्या बिबट्याच्या मागे जाऊ लागलो. पण त्याला लपाछपी खेळायची होती. तो अचानक गायब झाला. आम्ही सगळेच त्याला शोधू लागलो. आजूबाजूला पुयनं (पुर्ण) रात्र. मला भीती वाटायला लागली. तिघे बिबटे आसपास होते पण आम्हाला एकही दिसत नव्हता. अचानक "थांबव थांबव थांबव थांबव हा बघ हा बघ". पराग काका 'हळू आवाजात' ओरडला. बाबा "पिछे पिछे पिछे" असं काहीतरी किंचाळला. जिप्सी थोडी मागे झाली आणि काकाने बॅटरी मारली. बघते तर काय जिप्सीच्या बाजुलाच एक बिबट्या शांतपणे बसला होता. अगदी जवळ, अगदी बाजुला! बिबट्या एकदम थाटात होता. "हाच इथला खरा ठाकूर आहे" बाबा म्हणाला.

खरा ठाकूर

माऊपेक्षा बिबट्या खूपच मोठ्ठा होता. त्याच्या अंगावर भरपूर काळ्या ठिपक्यांचे मऊ मऊ पांघरूण होते. त्यामुळे त्याला थंडी वाजत नव्हती. त्याचा चेहरा एकदम छान होता. सरळसोट नाकाने तो सारखा वास घेत होता. त्याच्या भरपूर पांढर्‍या मिशा मस्त दिसत होत्या. तो त्याचे कान एकसारखे मागे पुढे हलवत होता.सकाळच्या पिल्लांसारखाच याच्या काळ्या कानाच्या मागे एकंच मोठा पांढरा ठिपका एकदम ऊठून दिसत होता. आमचा प्रत्येक आवाज तो ऐकत होता. अगदी कॅमेराचा आवाजसुद्धा. त्याचे पाय एकदम मऊ मऊ गुबगुबीत होते. तो कसलातरी विचार करत असावा. मधेच ऊजवी डावीकडे बघत होता. त्याला भूक लागली नसावी. तो काही बोलत नव्हता. वाघोबासारखा आवाजही करत नव्हता. त्याचे डोळे बाबासारखे होते. मी घरी छोट्या बॅटरीशी खेळते तेव्हा आई मला ओरडते "डोळ्यावर बॅटरी नको मारूस" म्हणून, पण हा ड्रायव्हर काका बिबट्याच्या डोळ्यावरच बॅटरी मारत होता. त्यामुळे त्याला त्रास होत होता आणि एकसारखे डोळे बंद करत होता. मी ड्रायवर काकाला ओरडले नाही, पण एक काका मात्र त्याला बोलला. मग ड्रायवर काकाने बॅटरीसमोर हात ठेवला.
रात्री गाडीतून रटकागिरीला (रत्नागिरी) जाताना समोरून जाणारी गाडी डोळ्यावर लाईट मारून निघून गेल्यावर जसे वाटते तसे बिबट्याला वाटले. लाईट कमी झाल्यावर डोळ्यावर बॅटरी मारणारा काका त्याला दिसला असावा. एकदम तो खाली वाकला, मान ताणून डोके पुढे आणले. बाबा डोळ्यावर लाईट मारणार्‍या गाड्यांवर रागवल्यावर जसे डोळे करतो तसे करून तो बिबट्या आमच्याकडे बघू लागला. फक्त बाबा रागा-रागाने काहीतरी बोलतो (!!) ते काही तो बोलला नाही. तो अगदी एक ऊडी मारून माझ्या बाजूला येऊन त्या काकाला ओरडणार असं मला वाटलं.

समोरून डोळ्यांवर लाईट मारून गेलेल्या गाडीकडे बघणारा बाबा असाच दिसतो (फोटो - परागकाका)

मला त्याची अजिबात भीती वाटली नाही. पण मग त्याला कसलातरी वास आला आणि तो रागावायचं विसरला. एकदम ऊठून ऊभा राहून समोरच्या गवताच्या काडीचा वास घेऊ लागला. अख्खा बिबट्या मस्तच दिसत होता. अगदी गुबगुबीत. त्याची पाठ पिवळी धम्मक होती, पोटाचा भाग मात्र पांढरा होता. सकाळच्या लहान पिल्लांच्या पायाच्या ठशांसारख्या काळ्या ठिपक्यांची गोधडी सुंदर होती. आम्हाला 'बाय' करून तो निघू लागला तेव्हढ्यात आमचा ड्रायव्हर काका एकदम 'बेंssss बेंssss' करून ओरडू लागला. बिबट्याने फक्त एकदा त्या खोट्या बकरीकडे बघितलं, "मला काय वेडा समजलात की काय?" असं म्हणून शांतपणे, कुठलाही आवाज न करता काळोखात गायब झाला. परत काही तो आम्हाला दिसला नाही!

अंधारातला बिबट्या थरार 

जिप्सीतून परत जाताना आई, बाबा आणि सगळे काका फोटो आणि व्हिडिओ बघत इतके बोलत होते की काही विचारू नका. "तो फक्त दहा-पंधरा फुटांवर होता. काय रुबाबदार प्राणी आहे. व्वा. कडक!" विराजकाका म्हणाला. "तो नव्हे, ती होती ती" परागकाका म्हणाला. "बाय द वे, तुम्हाला लक्षात आहे ना? आपल्या जिप्सीच्या तीन बाजूला तीन बिबटे होते, त्या अंधारात त्यातला फक्त एकच आपल्याला नीट दिसला. बाकी दोघे कुठे होते काय माहीत? आपल्या बाजूलासुद्धा बसले असतील.. काय माहीत?" बाबा नेहमीसारखे डोळे इकडे तिकडे करत बोलला. हे ऐकून आमची मात्र चांगलीच बाघरगुंडी (घाबरगुंडी) ऊडाली!!
झोपायच्या झुकझुकगाडीतून परत जाताना सगळे गाणी म्हणत होते आणि मी, ती हिरवी जिप्सी, मोठा पांढरा महाल, तिथलं छान छान जेवण, पहाटेची थंडी, तो निळा गार समुद्र, त्याबाजूला झोपलेल्या मगरी, डोंगरावरचे कठीण चढ, 'बेंssss बेंssss' करणार्‍या बकर्‍या, बर्‍याच हम्मा, ऊंचच ऊंच ऊंट, जोरात धावणारे हरीण, बिबट्याची ती पिटुकली पिल्लं, त्यांची ती थोडिशी चिडलेली आई आणि अगदी जवळून दिसलेला(ली) ती शांत, सुंदर बिबटी हे सगळं आठवत आठवत कधी झोपले ते कळलंच नाही!

This Travelogue has no route - Confessions of a wandering mind

Have also published this post on Team-BHP here.

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"And this guy wants to write car ownership reports. Blistering Barnacles!! I mean how on earth do you not even know how many horses your car packs in?" He was furious about the confusion I have with my car's power rating.

We were travelling to our Hometown. The distance was not much, just about 325 km. So, about 7 hours of journey including all the breaks.

"Hey Leo, look, look, that one appears to be a test mule. Which one is that?" Doc asked Leo who was busy reading texts in my Nokia 3310 phone. "What? Where is it? Where is it?" Excited Leo lifted his Kodak KB10 in a hurry. "See that one standing on the side of the road, be ready to click." Doctor pointed to left. "Where the heck is it? I can't see it!" Leo was still clueless after scanning the entire visible area. "That white one. Can't you see?" Doctor replied with a wicked smile on his face. That's when I realized something was fishy. "Oh Leo, its just the other meaning of the 'mule', chillax." I said trying to avert upcoming war. A small little innocent donkeyish creature was smiling at him all the way. "You bunko! I will have my revenge. Knuckling Barnacles!!" Leo sure was angry.

We were just half an hour into the road and I already knew this one was going to be one heck of a journey! Gundya (Doctor), Bandya (Leo), Bokya (Mamba) and I are childhood friends. We are friends from the day we started to cognize this world. We all know almost everything about each other. It always feels nice when you are in such a company.

Gundya, for the starters is an intelligent of the sapiens lot. We call him Doc or Doctor. By the way, he is an engineer by profession. He is calculative. He mostly thinks for himself. Always speaks in reserved manner. The only time he opens up is when he is with us. When it comes to cars, he belongs to the Stone Age. "If you want to buy a car, go to a Maruti showroom and pick the one which suits your budget." It’s that simple for him. He loves to write random stuff. And people seem to like what he writes for unknown reasons.

One hour after we started, we were past the city traffic and were cruising at 80 kmph somewhere on the Mumbai-Bangalore highway.

Our ride was my first car, White Maruti 800! "I love this little engine. It never lets you down." Leo had 'please let me drive her' written all over his face. Sure, I was NOT going to let anyone touch her steering wheel. My 800 was simple, old, second hand Maruti (Yeah, second hand car. I never knew words like "Used", "Pre-Loved", "Pre-Worshipped" being used for a car). But that hardly mattered. It was as reliable as a hundred rupee note. Just having a car was such a big thing.

My beloved Maruti 800. Photo clicked using Kodak KB10 Film Camera

Now, Bandya is a totally different character. He is the only one closer to "artist category" in our group. We call him Leo (Short for Leonardo da Vinci). He is simple, talks much and is careless. He is blunt talking and straight shooting. Doesn't care much about most of the stuff which goes around. Happy go lucky types you know! He also has a taste for music and so for good food. He even plays a few instruments (although a newbie) and cooks some good dishes. We all know, there is a hidden full blown artist inside him. But, we prefer to call him a "pseudo-artist"! He loves cars. He knows a lot about cars (at least in our group). We sometimes call him "Armchair Mechanic"! Everyone comes to him for "which car should I buy" queries.

"This thing doesn't even have an AC and no power steering. Thank god the previous owner fitted a tape. We can at least play cassettes." Mamba said while trying to change the cassette.
And this is Bokya, we call him Mamba. Short for Black Mamba. The aggressive, venomous snake with black mouth! He is someone who just can't help but criticize anything and everything he sees. Don't get me wrong, he is a good person, but it’s just his nature. He also has a peculiar habit of opening absolutely irrelevant topics. "This damn fish in the pond..! The tape is stuck. Oh, God help me."

Mamba is also a true (and forced) follower of Murphy's Law. Something always keeps going wrong with him. He is a person who is always present at a wrong place and at a wrong time. "Hold on. Use your brain some times. This screw driver here is there for a reason." Doc, the intellect, used screw driver to somehow get the stuck tape out and put it well back inside the cassette. Believe me, those damn cassettes gave a hard time to lot of us.

It was not a time for snack. But we were super hungry. We stopped by the roadside Misal specialist to quench the fire. When we were done with 'Misal', a lot of 'Rassa' and about eight extra breads each, it was time for some nice hot tea. Mamba being Mamba, had to mess something up, and so in a moment, some of the boiling hot tea was on the table, some on the bench and some on Doctor's pant. "Is there anything you can do properly??" Doctor's eyes were as big as a potato and his head was as hot as the tea on his pants. "Oh yeah, I help friends buy new pants to replace their ten year old cheap ones." Mamba went for the kill. "Shut the onion up, you two!" I screamed. Thanks to my big and light eyes, people still shut when I shout. A hand written, illegible bill was there on the table. Someone had to pay. Well, this is always an interesting moment and a very common too. Everyone was saying "Wait no, I will pay, I will pay!" But it was Leo, who never said a word, paid the cash and said "let's go!" Leo, being an artist, was most unstable of us all (Financially speaking). (And yeah, that's how the world works!). But, he is always the first one to get the cash out of his pocket. He is a car lover who can't afford one!
We were back cruising in my old 800.

All of a sudden things started changing. Transforming! Yeah, that's the correct word.

The seats transformed into super big ones. It felt like shifting from one BHK to a three BHK flat. The engine note changed. The potholes felt like drawings on the road. No bumps whatsoever. Cabin started feeling a bit cold. And to my surprise, I found myself in the comfortable back seat. The music quality felt better and guess what, the songs were being played from a USB stick!

"Hey, what did that guy put in Misal? What's happening? Are we drugged??" Leo was freaking out. "Well, the plastic quality went from bad to worse. And what are all these rattles? Are we sitting inside a rattle snake? And why do I smell petrol inside the car?" Mamba was relentless with his criticism. Not realizing he was on the driver's seat. "What do you expect? This is your car after all, Mamba." Doc pulled the papers from the huge gloves box and showed Mamba's name on it with wide grin on his face. "The steering feels lighter and direct." Mamba shifted his tone 180 degrees! "It’s also bigger" he added. "Yeah, like a dish antenna!" This time Bandya aka Leo pulled his leg. "People call your Indica Vista 'The white elephant'" He continued.

Mamba's White Elephant

"How could you even buy this car? That too, cab-like White Indica Vista? That too a petrol Tata? That too a basic Terra version? I mean, is this for real??" Never saw Leo being so furious about his argument. "Well, it is the most comfortable hatchback in the country. Plus it is made in India, by Indians. As solid as a rock. Plus it has an Italian engine. Terra version is good value for money" Mamba was making positive vibes out of thin air! "Come on. Are you kidding me? They should only build trucks. Oh, this AC, I have never seen such a weak AC, ever. My ceiling fan would chill this car faster. And yes, you will come to know about real 'Value for Money' when you try to sell it. And that pathetic 2nd gear. Feels like this engine just had a lot of Diarrhea." Well, we knew the real reason why Leo was so pissed off. Bokya (Mamba) did not consult him before buying the car!!

"This manual Window! Open it with one hand and I give you 500 bucks cash. God they are too hard and tight. By the way, what did you get from buying an Indian car? Felt patriotic… eh? And what about the quality? It’s as potty as the software you write. And what's with the Italian engine? 0-100 in 22 seconds?? I think I can run faster than that!! And what mileage do you get? Please put a poster on your dash similar to B.E.S.T. buses…'Our Target 3.5 km per litre!!' " How could Doc let go off this opportunity to hit jibes at Mamba?? But, this time he touched Mamba's profession! Mamba was being bitten by two Cobras. "What do you know of software mate?" Surprisingly, it felt as if Mamba was just about to lay his weapons!

Suddenly, there was uncomfortable silence. An amazing song sung by The Great Bhimsen Joshi started at the same time. His divine voice seemed to have calmed things down. "Well, agreed. I am one of those many people in software industry who are just there. For absolutely no reason. We get salaries for warming the benches!!" Mamba was opening up. "And this car, yeah, it gave me a lot of troubles. Look at this plastic. Did they recycle garbage bags to make these? And who puts all the dials in the center? And this damn digital clock. They cannot even give you a clock which shows correct time. Fantastic!" The Mamba was back, throwing venom like a spitting Cobra. That too on his own car! "But all said and done, I still love my Vista. She was a part of a lot of journeys, a lot of memories." Mamba's tone changed with emotional touch never seen before.

Mamba's Tata Indica Vista Terra Safire 1.2!!

"I respect Tatas for whatever they have done so far. Tata Motors is still young in passenger car market. What they have achieved is fantastic. And being an Indian, I feel proud!" Leo was praising Tata!! Bandya (Leo, The Pseudo-Artist) was making peace with Bokya (Mamba, The Venomous Critique)! "Are you going to kiss each other or what?? There is a lot of room in the back seat of Vista!!" Doc had the last laugh while both Mamba and Leo were ready to kill him! And for the record, this was not the first time I was going through this whole conversation. Anyways, almost all topics are repeated multiple times when you are with childhood friends. But the best thing is you never get bored!

"Hey what do you think about friends? I mean whom would you call your true friend?" This was not the first time Mamba asked absolutely random question, irrelevant to current situation. "I think those, whom you can share your salary details with. Those, who don't expect a thing from you. And those, who do not steal your girlfriend!" Not sure why, but Doc answered. He uses his calculative mind even while making friends!! "I think those who share their deep secrets and those, whom you can depend on for any help" Mamba answered his own question
"Guys, will you ever come out of Bollywood? I tell you the universal definition of a true friend." Leo was spot on with his Bollywood comment.

"True friends are those, in front of whom, you can FART with absolute ease, with absolutely no sense of guilt or embarrassment!! Juuussst like you guys!!" The damned artist dropped a nuclear bomb made of burnt tires in front of us. Doc suffered the most casualties.
"Ohhh, Ohhh God, Help Me!! Help Me!! Forget friends, I wouldn't do this to my hard core enemies. Ohh Gwaad, And this freaking damned Window Awww.. Awww!!" Doc was desperately trying to open Vista's hard, manual window, while Leo was laughing with no remorse whatsoever. "I told you, I will have my revenge! I feel so relieved." Leo said while circulating his hand on the belly. "If you ever face a question on anyone's loyalty, just remember me and try this method. It always works." Bandya was laughing out loud.

By this time it was already dark outside. We drove of off the highway and were on the small rural road. We stopped for a quick Tea and Pee break and were back in the car. Mamba put the key in and and…The car wouldn't start!! Mamba's car, something had to go wrong. "Great, that’s called 'icing on the cake!'". I was irritated. We had to get local help to push start the heavy white elephant. The car went back into motion and it went all dark outside.

And then, the transformation began, again!!!

Weird metallic sounds started coming and the cabin started to shrink. The sheet metal went from tank armor to thin potato wafers. The car went super cold inside. It felt like minus ten in a cold storage. The interior quality went three notches up! The plastics felt great, fit and finish became fantastic and the gaps filled themselves to become uniform everywhere. The rattles were all but gone. The steering size now felt perfect. "The engine noise has increased tenfold and I don't have space to keep my feet and oh, my knees hurt" Mamba was back to his true nature. "The gear lever is vibrating like a Nokia phone. By the way, have your turned on the headlights? Are you able to see anything ahead? Just compare that to my Vista, Yo!" He added.

The Doc was holding the steering with a just one finger and had no problems taking big turns that way. This time it was Doc's car…!

Our speed reduced to yawning 50 kmph. Doc is a sedate driver. "We know, you are trying to show us off that light steering wheel, Doc. But just wait till the ghat section, have fun then. And seriously, 50 kmph on an empty road?? You are driving too fast, Doc. Please slow down!" Leo said with a sarcastic tone. All this while we thought Leo was deep into killing the opponents on his cell phone game. The ride became so bumpy that we could feel each and every pothole. Vista's suspension felt like a glider compared to this. "Look, this display shows me when to upshift." Doc was trying to impress us. "And what about the downshifts...eh?" Leo knew well enough about this car. "Doc, how could you buy Hyundai Eon when all you know about cars is Maruti??" This question was going to come, Mamba was quick to ask. "Well, not all things go as planned. There are too many Altos on the road. So I went for Eon. I liked their quality. Plus Bandya also suggested me to go with the Eon" Doc justified his purchase. "But I suggested you to get a higher version. Not this Dlite+." Bandya aka Leo was quick to respond.

Doc's Hyundai Eon Dlite+

"All I need in a car is chiller AC, light power steering and fantastic mileage. All other things just add to costs." This was the calculative engineer speaking.

Eon's Milestone Pic!

"Forget airbags or other safety features. But omission of left side ORVM? I mean really? And a few other essentials like intermittent wiper and a damn music system. How can they even make such cars?" Leo was immersed into the conversation. "Well, you get what you pay for!" Doc didn't seem to have any problems with these missing features.

"This son of a bat. Why is this guy using high beam? When are we Indians going to learn? I just hate driving at night. And look at this mustard, driving on the wrong side of the road with high beams. Let me teach him a lesson!" Doc went straight very close to the oncoming vehicle and turned at a last moment just missing the dash. All this, still at 50 kmph! The guy in the other vehicle was least bothered, as he was driving a rusty old Tractor!! Doc is a unique sedate driver with hell of a road rage. And as this happened, someone from behind honked and honked even more. "No one honks at me. I will not give him side." Doc was chewing his teeth. Road rage made him look so scary. The Swift guy from behind honked continuously for a minute and at first opportunity, overtook Doc's Eon. Doc made finger gestures at the same time. Finally, when the Swift came at front, a big saffron sticker read 'Ex. Wrestling Champion'. I was terrified and petrified! Doc was shivering!! Thanks to The Almighty (and Doc's poor Eon), that Ex Wrestling Champion did not find us worthy of a wrestling match. "I could understand such a road rage if you drive Fortuner, Scorpio or an XUV. But road rage with Hyundai Eon? That too, with zero wrestling titles under your belt?? That's too much." Mamba could speak for he knew that the wrestler was already gone!

"Guys, why do I feel so uncomfortable? Is it because of Eon's back seat?? Let's take a break and have some tea again." I asked others.

And thus we found ourselves sipping nice, hot, Vanilla flavored tea from a local tea stall. Suddenly, all three started to laugh at me. "What?? What happened??" I asked. "How do you feel now? You were not comfortable in the car?" Doc had that weird smile on his face again. "I still feel uncomfortable. What's happening? Bad Misal, I guess?" I was irritated. "Well, it not just one bad Misal. It’s a lot more of them. Plus a ton of Burgers and Pizzas!" I hate that weird smile. "What? What do you mean??" These guys were irritating me more. "Look at your belly, Dodo! It's not just the cars which Transformed!" Doc pointed at my belly. "Oh that belly tire went from skinny 155/70 R13 to meaty 185/60 R15!!!" Leo's comparisons are a topic for some other day. "You lost some hair and I can see some silver there too!" Loosening the belt gave my thoughts some boost. Although, I was shocked to see the changed me!

Honestly, our transformations were not that great. The bellies were protruding, the cheeks were hanging and the chin disappeared into the neck. The kids at the tea stall called us "Uncle" and not "Brother". All of a sudden, all time enthusiastic boys inside us were looking pale and dull. But then a few questions popped in my mind. It sent down chill to my bones, for I knew the answers! 'Did we learn anything at all from the life as you know it? Do we have any plan for the future? Forget the plans, do we really have any future? Once a commoner always a commoner? The daily boring routine, is that what we live for?' and many more!

"Thank god, none of us have specs!" Mamba was trying to find some positives while I was deep lost in my discouraging thoughts. "Hey, hey, hey, look at my pocket! Big Cash!! I love these transformations! I will sponsor the tea, you babies!!" Bandya was hardly concerned with the mid-life crisis and fat bottoms.

And so, about two third of the distance was covered and we were cruising in Doc's noisy Eon.
An old man asked for a lift along the way, but we decided against to stop at unknown place at that hour of night. In a few minutes, it all went pitch dark and not a soul was present on the remote road. "Oncoming car, after such a long time." Doc whispered.
I also saw a cyclist, actually shadow of a cyclist ahead of us. The shadow was clear due to oncoming car's head lights. He was cycling peacefully probably about thirty meters away, on the left side of the road.

"Hey did you notice a cyclist on the left side a moment ago?" Mamba jumped into his seat. "Yeah, I did, I saw the shadow!" Leo joined in.

"Did you actually see the cyclist when we reached that spot? Not just the shadow?" Mamba had goose bumps! "What the Freaking Barnacles?? No. I didn't see him either. Actually I was looking for him, but he never showed up." Leo had his heart in the mouth. "There are no ghosts. Okay? By the time we covered some thirty meters, the cycle guy might have turned left, off the road." The look on that scientific face was giving away fear and not science. He sure was crapping in his pants. "So even you saw him Doc!! Well, I agree, there are no ghosts. But then, what the bullocks that man was doing in pitch dark? How was he able to see the road? Without any lights? And where did he turn? His house? His farm? I have traveled this road hundreds of time during the daytime. There is nothing other than dense jungle here. Even a dog would think twice before venturing into this dark." Leo was desperately searching for a bottle of water. "Guys, relax! We witnessed all those weird transformations today. This shadow of a man on bicycle is nothing. And by the way, how do you that it was 'he' and not 'she'??" I tried to calm things down. "Hit the pedal and run for life!" Bandya didn't care. He was sweating in that Hyundai cold house. "That's surely something we can do! There is no one on the road any which ways!" Doc, the sedate driver, had already started stressing the three pot engine to its limit. "Yeah, except the ghost bicycle rider, who probably is chasing us down?" Nobody seemed to like my joke.

We stopped for another tea break at the first sight of human habitat.
"Where are you going at this time? Where did you come from?" With only us at his tea stall, an elderly person, in his seventies, tried to start a conversation. But no one was in mood to answer him. "People generally do not travel so late from that patch of the road, that too on Amavasya!" He pointed to the road we had just traveled. "What? Why? Is it a New Moon night tonight?" We all asked in unison. Suddenly everyone was interested talking to him. "People say it’s a bad patch of road. Famous for unusual things." He continued. "What kind of unusual things?" I asked while sipping that super sweet diabetic tea. "You know, people have seen jungle rabbits chasing their cars with crazy speeds. Some have seen hundreds of rats running in all directions on that road and then disappearing suddenly." I don't know if any of that was real or he was making things up. "But, but I don't believe in all these stories, that's why; here I am, selling tea, at this time of night with no problems whatsoever." Suddenly, I felt good. He sure was one brave old bat. "But, but few people have also seen an old man asking for a lift. If you stop your car, he doesn't do anything and just vanishes. If you don't, he chases you down." He seemed like a nice story teller. "Chases cars by running like those crazy rabbits?" Bandya asked impatiently with a touch of sarcasm. "No!! He chases them down on a bicycle! Old, completely rusted, chain less bicycle!!" The one telling ghost stories is always the happiest person in the group, I think.

We were in no mood to stop. This time Doc paid for the tea in tenth of a millisecond and we started from there at once.

"Guys, did you notice the bicycle parked on left side of that tea stall? It surely felt different. All rusted, absolutely no paint on it. And yes, the chain was missing." Leo was shaking. "Hey, you said, you have traveled this road hundreds of time during day light. Have you ever seen this tea stall?" Mamba asked Leo with a weird expression on his face. "No. I don't remember. But I never noticed. So, probably it is always closed during day time." Leo's face turned white. "So ghost chased us, then prepared a nice hot Chai and then told us his own story? Is that what you are saying??" Gundya, the intellect, said while trembling and increasing the speed further.

We would have gone on and on with that crazy ghost story, but the car transformation started again!!

First the clutch paddle vanished. Gear lever changed to an Automatic one. Car's speed increased even further. The interior quality went from better to awesome. Outside noise went from hundred to zero. After few hours of drive in Eon, I felt as if I was wearing Bose's noise cancelling headphones in this new car. The seat height reduced and felt super comfortable. No more jumps on the bumps (Although it did not match Vista's suspension). The steering became meaty with a flat bottom. Many buttons appeared on the steering. The dashboard looked like one from a plane's cockpit. The space on front row increased a lot while the space at the back remained the same. But the biggest change, to everyone's surprise, was the person holding the steering wheel of this seemingly expensive car. It was Bandya! Leo! Yeah, the one with financial problems!

"What? How? I mean how?" Calculative Doc asked with awe.

"Play Old Hindi Songs" Bandya talked to that butch steering wheel after pressing some button. And voila, the car started playing Rafi's amazing songs! "Is that awesome or what?" Leo was too excited. "I am in love with this engine, guys. That sweet sound. It’s poetry in motion." Looked like Bandya didn't care about anything else at that point and joined Rafi with his fantastic 'Main Zindagi Ka Sath...' song. "Which car is this? And how much did you pay for it?" Doc still couldn't believe! "You know what; I will just stop the music and let's hear this sublime turbo petrol engine." Bandya wasn't even listening to us anymore. An empty and straight stretch of road came ahead. "Just see this!!" Bandya pressed the accelerator hard and in a moment we were pushed back and jolted to our seat. "This is 175 Nm of torque hitting your face. Babes! Oh, I love this." Leo was having super fun while we were scared to death. "And you know what? This is just a 'D' mode. The regular Drive mode. Let me put it into 'S' mode." He pressed a button on the gear lever and pulled it back to Sports mode. "This is pure aggression. No mercy!" By now he was completely lost. The engine became louder and I could feel the scary punch. "I have never traveled in such a fast car before." Mamba opened his mouth first time after the gho(a)stly shock. "You betcha!! Feel this 30 to 80 magic. It's simply brilliant." I think Leo was feasting on our fears as much as his car. "And by the way, did any of you notice even a single gearshift? This is not your regular Automatic transmission. This is Dual Clutch Auto Transmission. It is made using Amul Butter!" Please don't ask about Bandya's comparisons, please!

"This is my Red Hot German Babe. Volkswagen Polo GT TSI." Bandya said with tremendous pride on his face.

Leo's Red Hot German!

Yes, the car was awesome. But, I was more worried about the money this guy had put in.

Polo's Cockpit!

"Bandya how much did this car cost?" Like others, I was impatient on this front. "10.5" Bandya murmured. "Ten point freaking five??? Are you freaking insane?" I almost had an attack. "Yeah, I had 11L in my account." Leo answered with no expressions on his face. "So you just blew 10.5L out of 11L you had, that too on a car? Have you heard of something called 'SAVINGS'? Do you know there is a concept of bank loans? Do you happen to know the word 'investments'? Do you know about cheaper pre-owned cars?" Doc was shouting at him. "And is this thing going to run on water? Are you going to eat thin air? I mean are you..." I had no words. This was stupidity.
"Money comes and goes. Let me just enjoy the drive, man!" He didn't care. "10.5 on a hatchback, Hu hu.." Mamba murmured. "It's not just some other hatchback, man. Respect, it's the Polo GT." Bandya quoted VW ad!

This is one thing I always wonder about car owners. Where all that car-brand-pride does come from?

Respect, It's the Polo GT

"AT is a boon. No more stress on my left leg. No problem creeping in traffic and no more backward roll on the slopes, say thanks to hill assist. Total peace of mind." He continued. "I thought real car enthusiast never drives an AT." Mamba poked by a pin. "Do you know the best part with Automatics? You can pick your nose all throughout the journey! My left hand is free." Leo had no reservations about doing or speaking of things considered improper by most other humans.
"Aww, that’s disgusting." Doc had super expressions on his face. "Oh come on, everyone does it." Bandya didn't care

"Well hello, at least not in public!" Doc added. "Stop this topic, people. Bandya, tell me more about your GT." I stopped that uncomfortable conversation.

"This car is loaded with features. Super Engine, Fantastic AT, Beautiful design, Sturdy build quality, Good Safety Features like strong structure, two airbags, ABS with EBD, Electronic Stability Program, It has sporty rear black spoiler, Spotless paint job, Good looking alloys, Top notch and all black interiors, Meaty, flat bottom and fairly accurate steering, it has rake and reach adjustment too, Automatic wipers, cruise control, auto dimming IRVM, electronic ORVMs, One touch power windows, remote controlled windows, cornering lights, hill hold assist, auto creep function, Automatic climate control, Cooled glove box, height adjustable driver's seat, one touch lane change indicators, Touch screen infotainment system and above all the GT badge!" Bandya was not going to stop singing songs about his GT-beauty.

At a point he sounded like a waiter from Udupi hotel listing all the types of idilis and dosas from the menu.

"And the audio quality is just fantastic. Yeah, some may say it is okayish, but let me tell you, I am an audiophile! I have heard the Harman Kardon in Tata Zest. I think Polo's music quality still FEELS better. Thanks to end to end insulated cabin. Just listen to this." Leo maxed volume and started Rahman's new 'The Humma Song'. Heck, that was pure sin! Mind blowing!!

Bandya doesn't stop singing songs about his GT-Beauty

"Hope your pocket stays happy too!! Have you heard of VW after sales service stories?" Mamba started again. "That is the only thing I am not sure about. Keeping my fingers crossed." Leo found some sense after-all. "I tell you, this is the most selfish purchase I have ever seen. This car is only made for the driver's seat. What does your family says about this low seating position and lack of space at the rear? Yes, the design is good, engine-gearbox combo is good too but it is not a proper hot hatch! And I am sure you know that replacing this gearbox costs more than a Nano, just in case something goes wrong. Just Google DSG failure hu hu! I am okay with the safety features too, but you know Fords provide six airbags? By the way, the first and foremost safety feature in any car is fantastic brakes! While GT provides average brakes! What's the use of all that power if you can't control it? And do you think you are going to need ESP anytime? Is that sporty spoiler enough to distinguish this car from a 6L sibling?" We never knew Mamba knows so much about cars.

"I couldn't help but notice that ugly scratch on the bonnet paint near right wiper. You can't open wipers like other NORMAL cars? Can you? The car wash guy gifted you that scratch. German engineering, he he..! The flat bottom steering wheel is nice, but where are the paddle shifters? And they give you Auto wipers, what for? How many times are you going to use them? GT owners need to beg the rain god to test this feature!! Plus, I don't think it is that effective at night. It should wipe the windshield more often when the headlights are on. And talking of headlights, the throw is poor to say the least. Compare that again to my Vista, dude!" Mamba was at peak of his biting while careless Bandya listened to it patiently. "And they made a joke of you with those cornering lights. All they do is turn the fog lamps on? Hehe, this is the same way we add 'features' to our software!! That infotainment system only supports Mirrorlink and not Android Auto or Apple Carplay, have you ever seen a phone which supports Mirrorlink?" I couldn't believe one can find so many shortcomings in a car that good!

"Well, no car is perfect. And let me tell you, this is not just a car, this is work of ART! And master pieces do not retail cheap." Leo was un-affected. Looked like he had developed anti-venom for Mamba's bites.

Work of Art!

"You know what, unlike you tightwads, I will allow you guys to try her out. Tell me then!" Bandya parked the car to the left. It was me who first got the chance to experience Polo GT and it was fantastic. "I simply don't care what Mamba thinks. This is a GEM!" I was exhilarated to say the least. I didn't want to let others drive, but I had to, anyways.

"What's the average?" Doc asked while driving her at punishingly slow 60 kmph.

Average with Doc's driving style!

"With these crawling speeds, I guess a hundred kilometers per liter!!" Leo said with a sarcastic smile on his face. "Wow, this is all so smooth. My left hand keeps going to gear knob only to find out there is nothing to do! This is just cool!" Even Doc, the sedate driver was impressed.
It was Mamba's turn now. And we all wanted to hear what he had to say. Ten minutes passed but he didn't say a word. He was checking all the features and all the buttons. "Try the manual mode as well; just move the gear stick to the left when on 'D', then push for Up-shifts and Pull for the Down-shifts. Have fun." Bandya was excited. Mamba tried the manual mode and still not a word.

"I am in Love. Pure love. With all said and done this is by far the best machine I have ever handled. You know what? 10.5L is 'value for money'. This is a no compromise deal. Sticks to the road like a chewing gum in your hair. Acceleration is brutal and the engine note is straight from symphony orchestra. The feature are just so cool. This beauty is real mean. Sorry you guys at the back, get used to it!!" Mamba was finally speaking, and how!!!

We never realized that our destination had arrived. We were in hometown!
It was time to say good bye and conclude this memorable journey.

We also didn’t recognize that our belly R15s were further upgraded to R16s.

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If you have made it thus far....
-----

Hey, hey, hey, I just noticed, I didn't say a word about myself!!!
Well, to tell you the truth, I was travelling ALONE to my hometown in my new Polo GT TSI!

Thanks to AT, there was nothing much to do. So yes, this post is a product of daydreaming!!

All the cars are real. Basically all the cars I have owned so far and of course, all the characters are figments of imagination. Just the parts of brain fighting with other.
Does this happen to you?

Hope you liked it!

PS:
Leo here says "Thanks for reading, You Bombastic Barnacles"!
Mamba wants me to send his regards to those who choose not to comment!
And the Doctor standing next to me says,
"No… I don't have any multi-personality disorder (as of yet)!!!!!"